Celebrities Threatening to LEAVE AMERICA if Trump Wins…We Have Something to Say to YOU…



“Just as the government is this great big, bloated, fat whale with too much money that oversteps its bounds and needs to be kept in check by the people…so too are you, big, fat bloated, whales that think more of yourself than the people who put you there”

Now this isn’t really “new” news but as you have probably heard, lots of celebrities are threatening to leave the USA if Trump wins.  Now, don’t get me wrong…I highly welcome anyone to leave America if they aren’t happy here for some reason, though I can’t imagine what it would be.

And no doubt, most of these celebrities have spent a lifetime being told how much their fans adores them and how important they are.  So perhaps it’s understandable if they lose sight of the big picture and begin to believe that they are going to hold some sway because they are celebrities.  Or maybe it’s just being petulant.  Either way, you only have this power because the people…the people MADE you.  Not the other way around.  The people…mostly the people of AMERICA made you and your response is to threaten to leave if your candidate doesn’t win?

Just as the government is this great big, bloated, fat whale with too much money that oversteps its bounds and needs to be kept in check by the people…so too are you, big, fat bloated, whales that think more of yourself than the people who put you there.  And with that analogy, our first promised leaver…

Rosie O’Donnell: “If Trump’s elected president I’m moving to Canada.”

(I can’t make a better comment than the one that preceded her quote…)


(Pretty sure you are there regularly, already. If not, book a flight on the soon-to-come Trump Space Shuttle)

George Lopez: “If he wins, he won’t have to worry about immigration. We’ll all go back.”

(Pre-emptive strike?  Are you saying you are an ‘undocumented’ comedian ?)

Neve Campbell: “I’m terrified. It’s really scary. My biggest fear is that Trump will triumph. I cannot believe that he is still in the game. I cannot conceive of how that’s possible. I’ll move back to Canada.”

(Hmmm, Trump…Triumph…I like it.  Trump + I (+ autocorrect <cough>) = Triumph.)

Jenny Slate: “If Donald Trump wins the presidency, a pig will fly out of my butthole, because it will be a nightmare.”

(Technically not threatening to leave, just entertaining imagery)

Whoopi Goldberg: “Maybe it’s time for me to move, you know. I can afford to go”.

(See, this is the attitude I am talking about.  You have the freedom to go.  But you can only afford your nice lifestyle because this country *made* you.  Look, I have seen that movie Theodore Rex.  And Doogal.  And Monkeybone.  And let’s just say…I think you owe us some money before you go…)

Al Sharpton: “If Donald Trump is the nominee … I’m also reserving my ticket to get out of here if he wins. Only because he’d probably have me deported anyhow”

(Worried the Don will make you pay all those back taxes…?)

Miley Cyrus: “Trump is a “F#!king Nightmare” that makes her “want to vom” and she will “move out da country” if he wins.

And “Honestly f%#$ this [email protected][email protected] I am moving if this is my president! I don’t say things I don’t mean!”

(It’s ok, dear.  When you are done running away from home and rebelling against the adults, you can come back.)

Jon Stewart: “I would consider getting in a rocket and going to another planet, because clearly this planet’s gone bonkers.”

(Used to be a funny guy…but “bonkers?” is that the best a comedian can come up with?)

Eddie Griffin: “If Trump wins, I’m moving to Africa. If he wants to build a wall to keep Mexicans out, I know what the f—k he feel about a n—a.”

(Hmm, wonder if I am allowed to even quote the “n” word like that…)

Raven-Symoné: “My confession for this election is if any Republican gets nominated, I’m gonna move to Canada with my entire family. Is that bad?” and “I already have my ticket … No, I literally bought my ticket, I swear.”

(So if you already bought your ticket, I guess that means you expect a Trump win.  Not so dumb if you read between the lines)

Lena Dunham: “I know a lot of people have been threatening to do this, but I really will. I know a lovely place in Vancouver, and I can get my work done from there.”

(Wait…Lena who?)

Samuel Jackson: “If that motherf—ker becomes president, I’m moving my black ass to South Africa”

(Ok, I am not giving Sam a hard time.  Starred in some fantastic movies.  I will write this one off to playing too many highly dramatic characters)

Jennifer Lawrence: “If Donald Trump becomes president, that will be the end of the world,”

(Technically leaving.  Making me miss Hunger Games Katniss’s optimism…)

Omari Hardwick said he would move his family to Italy if Trump wins.

(You are moving -TO- Italy because of politics…?  The country that gave us Silvio Berlusconi? oO )


There’s probably more but honestly, they are all kind of the same pouting Annies, anyway.  Now I love a good movie and I love good actors.  And at least a COUPLE of these are good actors that I love.  But you know what I love a whole LOT MORE than ANY of these actors?


No matter what happens.  Even if the evil, lying b*@ch wins, I stand by my country.  I will work to try and keep you pure.  But even if I fail, even if I am too weak or too small or too late and the country strays away from it’s heart, you have given me SO MUCH and I will always stand by you!